Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dear diary...

Miranda Anderson
Anderson 1
Mrs.Meadows
English. period - E-F
18 september, 2011

January 2. 1620
Dear Diary,
Today is the 2nd of january, 1620 and we have finally landed on this mysterious land, Plymouth. They say the world will remember this pivotal moment in history, but will they?

Mother has been in a very bad disposition these days, which has me very worried, I do not understand how she can be so upset when we have everything we need! we even have our own religious freedom which we have wanted all this time. I cannot help to see how everyone is being so guile these days, especially robert, he is my brother for god's sake, it is mandatory for him to tell me things. Nobody understand me, not even my other siblings, but of coarse they do not, for they are too young.

You will never guess what I did today diary, I jumped in the most beautiful river! I just saw it and I felt like i had to jump in! how spontaneous you might say, but yes indeed it is, ever since I have been on the edge, mother say's it is imperative that I stop fooling around, but thats all I ever hear " Elizabeth stop that! " over and over again, but I am not a child, I shall decide for myself.

January 4, 1620
Dear Diary,
This is a secret you musnt  tell anyone…. today I was out in the greenest forest picking the reddish berries when I over heard mother talking to grandmother-Willow about marriage, it was a very odd thing to be talking about but I decided to listen. While I was listening to their conversation they stumbled upon my name, how weird, yes indeed, I was bewildered, how did this happen? I am only 17 not age to get married. Nobody understand me.

January 6, 1620

Dear Diary,  
I was sitting by the stream near our house today, being sad for all that I have lost, not knowing whether to cry or just simply pout. While sitting by the stream I saw tiny little fish of every colour, how odd I say to myself, I have never seen fish of any kind like that… how interesting, though a lot of things are different from england, for example, the food, the animals, the plants, and even some of the people, well especially the people, they are dark skinned, and speak a different language then us, but the leaders of Plymouth tell us not to worry about them because they will come to good use.  Did you know diary that I do not miss England at all, I enjoy it here, and so do the other people that live here, we can do whatever we want, the only thing mandatory is going to church every night, well i thought we could do whatever we want, but now I am getting forced to get married, but dear diary you do not know how much I do not want too, I want to remain young, and unharmed.  Nobody understands me.

A month later.
February 4, 1620
Dear diary,
I decided diary that I shall get married, for the sake of Plymouth. my husband will make a big strong house, with a big large farm. My wedding is approaching dear diary and how I am nervous, but mother understands me, and will help me with this new world.

Until next time Dear Diary, Elizabeth.

2 comments:

  1. Hey! Good story! I like how you have gaps in the days and then in the next entry fill the reader in on whats been happening. :)
    In your first paragraph:
    I don't think you need to put the date again, because when most people write in their diaries, they have the date on top anyways.
    When you say "mysterious land" you dont need a comma after, but should add of Plymouth, or if you wanna keep the comma put 'otherwise known as Plymouth' get it?
    2nd para:
    When you say "disposition" I dont think you need to add "These days" because disposition is USUAL mood or something, meaning it means basically the mood lately so adding "These days" I think is uneccesary
    You need to capailize *We in the second sentence, *Robert and *God in the third sentence and when you say "I can't not help to see" that's saying you do understand. You can change it to 'I can not understand' or 'I can not help myself from wondering how everyone has been so guile these day's
    Third:
    You just need to capitalize a lot of ****I's.
    Fourth:
    *Musn't (Good word!) and again a lot of ***I's aren't capatilkzed
    Fifth:
    I's again. When you say "Cry or pout" thats basically saying whether I should be sad or sad. Theyre both of the same meanings, so you need a opposite in there like 'Cry or rejoice'
    After you put "Goimg to church" I think it would be better if you say 'I used to think this, but mow being married without having a say in it, my opinions seemed to have changed' or somethig
    *I's AGAIN. When you're talking about mother, add a little more about how she changed from the beginning where you say she treated you like a kid to now where she understands you.

    I like you concept! I did diary/journal letter to! :) Your story was very interesting and unique! Keep on writing!

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